The Uken Family

Update Soon

2011-12-26T07:54:00.000-08:00

We were able to spend Christmas in Sioux Falls with all of our family, but didn't get our year end update done in time. Look for it around the New Year!

Merry Christmas!
Stu
Tashia
Abby
Isiaih

Continued Blessings

2010-12-20T18:13:00.000-08:00

Since our last entry was in April, we decided to recap the entire year with an online Christmas Letter. It seems each year is full of challenges, excitement, joy, blessings, trials and pain. 2010 was no different.

The year was kicked off with a last minute trip to Mississippi in early January. We were able to meet and get acquainted with our new son. Due to weather, we ended up being there over 2 weeks. This gave us a time to bond with Isaiah, but was hard to leave Abby home that long. She was quite anxious to meet her little brother and is still quite fond of him. When he's having a tough time, she's good at getting him to laugh and smile.

Soon after in February we celebrated Abigail's 3rd birthday. Dora exploded in our house and we were able to give her some much deserved attention. Abby is quite the busy body and is always keeping us on our toes. She likes to help out when possible and loves time with anybody as she is quite social. Everyone age 2-6 is her "friend" in addition to the imaginary kind.

As in our last post, Isaiah kicked his O2 tank for good in April and hasn't looked back. Other than a few runny nose colds he has been quite healthy. We are quite thankful for wood floors as he has a very touchy gag reflex. He is over 21 lbs and on track with his adjusted age. He has mastered the army crawl and is beginning to climb where possible. Our main concern at this point is getting him through the winter without a chest cold, especially RSV. It's easy to forget he was ever that tiny!

Beginning April 23rd we have a string of tough dates though Aug 28th. It's a season of pain that we are glad to get through. It's mainly the week leading up to the big dates that are the hardest. We will always miss our boys Tony and James and they will never be replaced. Although having a healthy son does bring us healing and great joy. Occasionally we are brought back to bitter sweet memories that will always be with us. As a dear friend advised "It won't get better, but it will get easier". Profound words that we continue to understand.

Most days however are normal and spent enjoying life with our family. In June we were able to have a memorable trip to Island Lake near Detroit Lakes, Minnesota. This lake is full of great memories from Stuart's family and added a big one when he proposed there in July '04. This was our first trip back and it was great to be able to start the tradition with a new generation. We didn't bring a boat but there was much fishing, a bit of swimming, a lot of food and a great time with family and friends. It should be a highlight for years to come.

The fall turned a bit busier with a few different commitments. The church Awana program started again with the school year and Tashia is helping again this year. It's also Abby's first year and she has a blast with her "Cubbie" friends and leaders. It gives Dad and Son a night of male bonding.

In January Stuart accepted a Deacon position at church and in September this involved getting more involved with the worship and music on Sundays. He has kept busy leading worship on Sundays, organizing practices among other items. Also in September he began coordinating and facilitating another year of Financial Peace University classes. He enjoys being involved in both, but is glad that FPU only lasts 13 weeks. It gives us both a chance to share our experiences and how getting a handle on our debt and managing our finances has helped us through our trials and strengthened our marriage.

Late September we went with Stuart's parents down to Lincoln to the SDSU-Nebraska game and also took in the zoo there. Abby still talks about going to the "birdy-zoo" to help them fly. There was a kids exhibit and they had a few small animals and items. There was a dove there and her imagination seems to have expanded that experience.

Isaiah turned one on Oct. 2nd and we were able to celebrate a big milestone for us. Soon after on the 12th we celebrated "Abby Uken" day, which was the day that she officially became a Uken. She hadn't grasped the concept of time yet and thinks quite often that her birthday was yesterday or was tomorrow. We were able to give her another special day to celebrate for the 1st time.

Also in October we made the annual return to Brookings for Hobo Day. It's been a fun family weekend with the parade, football game and pool at the hotels. After missing last year, Stuart ran the 5k again with his brother Mike. Not sure he can keep up the making faster times, but has found getting back into shape is getting harder every year. The plan is to stay in shape... He also ran one in Ida Grove and ran as Uncle Sam with two high school friends in the July 4th race in Springfield.

Soon after Hobo Days, Stuart got to try being Mr. Mom for 2 weeks. Tashia had an emergency appendectomy (are they ever planned?). She was in pain and recovery was slow, but she is back on pace and her husband is a bit more humble, appreciative and understanding because of it.

Finally on November 5th, Isaiah's adoption was finalized. It was basically a formality, but we finally were able to celebrate his forever family day. We are continually amazed on how well our adopted children fit our family. Many times Mom is concerned that they take on too many of Dad's attributes. Abby spontaneously breaks out in silly songs like dad and Isaiah is already dancing to music and banging his hands to the beat.

This Sunday night Tashia helped with the Christmas Program at church and Abby participated for the 1st time. Dad brought the video camera and Abby didn't disappoint. We had a nose pick in the first minute and a few waves and yells at Dad and Isaiah throughout.

Early in the year Tashia was able to spend time at a much deserved scrap booking retreat. This year has been a challenge for her adjusting to raising two little ones full time and keeping this house running smooth. Of course Dad cheated again and used his parents to get through the weekend.

Stuart continues to enjoy working at Midwest Industries. This year he has transitioned more to the manufacturing side of engineering and less on the design side. It's an opportunity that he was interested in when we chose to move to Ida Grove and finds it both challenging and rewarding. He has been involved in a few major projects involving new machinery and process as well as the day to day interaction with fellow employees on the plant floor and support staff. As with most manufacturing 2009 was a tough year for the company, but 2010 was a decent year all things considered and 2011 looks to improve on that.

Looking back this year has been full of memories, hard work and great times with friends and family. We are continually amazed at how God pours his blessings on this family and we are always reminded of His love. Especially from all of your prayers and numerous ways you have all helped us along the way.

We hope you all have a wonderful Christmas and look forward to seeing and hearing from you next year.

Love,

Stuart, Tashia, Abby and Isaiah

Christmas Letter

2010-12-19T14:20:00.001-08:00

Coming Very Soon!!

Isaiah Unplugged!

2010-04-01T19:44:00.000-07:00

4 weeks ago this Sunday we went to Omaha for a sleep study to find out how much oxygen Isaiah needed. Well turns out he needs none! Much to our delight he has had no oxygen since that appointment and has been doing well. We still have a few tanks just in case, but it's made our life a bit easier.

He still gets a bit of medicine and nebulizer treatments twice a day. His feeding continues to do well and may have a touch of reflux. Isaiah had his first spoon of cereal soup tonight to train him on thicker food. Also, he had a bit of apple juice today as what goes in is not coming out very fast.

At his corrected age of 9 1/2 weeks, 12lbs 12oz and 24" puts him over the 50%. He is on track to break into the chart for his true age soon and there are really no worries at this point. His eye development has progressed to normal development and we have one more double check appt. for that tomorrow.

Miss Abby continues to keep us on our toes or is it back on our heels? The nice weather helps to get her out to burn off some energy. She takes all the attention she can get. We have kids her age on both sides of us and she can't wait to play with her friends every night.

Well that's it for tonight. We wanted to get a much overdue update on our family. As always, no news is good news.

Very thankful this Easter,

Stu, Tashia, Abby and Isaiah

Big Party - Big Boy

2010-02-15T18:14:00.000-08:00

No news is good news right? It's been a bit busy, with a few expected trips, doctor visits and Abby's birthday, but everything else is par for the course with a newborn. We are hoping that this week is where we can get our routine started.

Isaiah has been doing very well. He has been gaining a lot of weight and is much bigger already than any baby we have had at 10lbs. All of his checkups and specialist appointments have went well and he is progressing nicely. We will continue to have more checkups that are routine for micro preemies but there are really no concerns other than him getting a cold at this point.

Our little man is going through the same phases as a 3-4 week old baby right now. This is fun to be a part of and it is still hard to believe that we get to experience this process. Having a baby boy seems to be bringing a new level of healing that only he could give us. Seeing other baby boys shouldn't cause us to feel the longing or loss we used to. We are so thankful for God's blessings!

The first few weeks were a bit rough for Abby and us to all adjust. We have all done a better job lately and seem to be acting like a family of four now. Sleep is still the biggest challenge right now. It takes Isaiah awhile to calm down at bedtime, but does a decent job sleeping. He eats around 10pm, 2am and 6am right now. Mom takes the first two feedings and Dad takes the last one before heading to work. The last stretch of a brutal winter doesn't help either.

Our Miss Abby is now 3 years old. We tried to really talk and play up her Party a few weekends ago. She really seems to like attending parties and really wanted to give her some attention with the new baby. Dora and her gang exploded in our house and she seemed to have had a good time with family including a few cousins.

She really likes to hold Isaiah and show him attention, but she isn't exactly the gentle sister. In so many ways she is like her dad. Since Dad spends plenty of time outside with all the snow moving, she likes to tag along and get out of the house. It will be nice after the weather improves and everything thaws and dries out. 3-year olds aren't meant to be cooped up inside!

This is a photo from the first weekend we were back home. We went to the local Family Dollar, to get a reward for Abby and we picked out this doll. While we were gone she named him Isaiah.

We can't say enough how much we appreciate all your prayers and support we have received over the past few years. Our family and friends are our biggest blessings!

Enjoying God's grace,

Stu, Tashia, Abby the Explorer and our 10lb Proud Angler

The Little Big Helper

2010-01-19T17:33:00.000-08:00

Abby loves to help around the house and when she makes pizza with mom, she gets her own little batch. She had extra fun this time.

It's been hard to be away from Abby, but we had decided earlier that this was the best way. Now given the circumstances it affirms it was a good decision, but also harder than we thought. In November we were away from her for 7 days so we will be close to doubling. It's affecting mom the most as she spends the most time with her and most of her daily routine revolves around her.

She seems to be having a great time with those watching her as she hardly gives us a sentence on the phone:( But it may just be her way of dealing with it. We can't say enough about how much we appreciate those taking care of her while we are gone!!

This is Reina pulling Abby this weekend. Reina moved in with Grandpa and Grandma Uken last year to help with Stuarts allergies. Abby doesn't seem to miss her at home, but loves to play with her when they get reunited.

We are exited to see how Abby reacts when we get home. We are sure she will be trying to help take care of baby Isaiah from the get go. She already named one of her dolls after him and thinks he will be in her room right away. When asked if she wanted a baby brother or sister, she always said both! We will see if she's paitent on the sister part...

Isaiah has been eating and sleeping well and for the most part has his awake time during the day. He is a fairly calm baby and his rare crying is quite soft. We aren't complaining!

We got to watch Isaiah's Saints win on Sunday (we are only 1hr from NO). Daddy reminds him that Saints finish strong when he eats!

The storm surge from Katrina came just blocks from his hospital and it was a major emergency center after the storm. Everything seems to be cleaned up from the 2005 storm, but almost every residential beach front lost is still vacant and for sale.

We will be exited to introduce Isaiah to everyone when we return home. Just keep in mind that when we do venture out or if you visit that you may not be able to hold him due to the risk of catching a cold. Hopefully he gets strong this winter and it won't be as big of a conern in the future.

No word at this point of where the papers are at. We should know more tomorrow. After his appt. we will stop at a new hotel within an hour or two of the border. Needless to say we will be ready everyday to take off in a minutes notice.

Trying to patiently wait,

Stu, Tashia, Who Dat? Isaiah, and from far away Abby

He can send you anywhere from here

2010-01-18T16:05:00.000-08:00

The truth found in James 4:13-15 is reality to us right now as it has been before. Anthony took us on a 2 week stint to Houston, TX. Now our latest son Isaiah sends us on the road to Mississippi with less than 24hrs notice. We knew it could happen fast and that we may be going to a state out of the region. Still, we were a bit unprepared, at least mentally for this.

About 3 weeks ago we opted to send our book to California for a baby due in February. We hadn't heard back on if we were picked and another baby in Louisiana was already born and leaving the hospital in a week. We again chose to send our book. 8 days ago Sunday at 5pm we got the call we were picked for the boy. He was ready to leave the hospital and he was actually in Mississippi on the coast. So we packed last minute for a 19 hour drive and up to a 10 day stay. It was a whirlwind to say the least.

We left Monday at noon and stopped at 9pm just south of St. Louis as neither of us are good night drivers. Tuesday at 4pm we arrived at the hospital and got to meet Isaiah for the first time. We agreed for one last night of good rest and began our "room in" with Isaiah the next day. After two days we brought him out to our temporary abode at the Hampton Inn just after lunch on Friday. We had originally hoped that the interstate paperwork would clear early and be able to leave Monday or Tuesday.

Well, God not only controls the where, but also the when. We learned that week long cold snap was too much for the deep south. The government building in Jackson that processes the papers was closed all week due to extensive water main breakages due to freezing. Also, Monday (today) is a holiday. So we reserved through Wednesday and will have an appointment 2 hrs north, then continue to the border for hopefully just a night or two. Then when we get word that the papers have cleard both states we will journey home.

Isaiah was actually born Oct 2nd of last year at 24-26 weeks and weighed 1lb 12oz. He has had a very difficult road to this point to say the least, but now is doing very well. He is now over 8lbs and his due date was originally this Wednesday. His journy may have more bumps in the road but we are hopeful that they won't be major. We had decided against a special needs child, but as we mentioned earlier, God had different plans.

Special needs is a broad term and Isaiah is probably on the light end of it at least at this point. He is currently on the lowest setting of oxygen and will probably be off that in the next few months. His biggest concerns are his eyes and his lungs. We have an appointment down here on Wednesday and hopefully it will show that his eyes are continuing to improve and will not need surgery. Due to his early arival plus his frequent and lengthy intubations he has chronic lung disease, which he should grow out of eventully. Catching a cold (RSV)or other virus is a major concern. He does have a few medications and treatments.

Compared to our first two boys, he demands much less time and precaution. However, due to his lungs we won't be venturing out much this winter. The cord from the oxygen tank isn't bad in the hotel room, but at home may be a bigger challenge. While he does have some minimal structural abnormalities (stridor) that give just a bit harder time breathing and sometimes a whistle you can hear. It was much worse a few weeks ago and hopefully will continue to improve as he grows.

With Tony and James, every little cough was a concern knowing that choking could follow and damage was taking place. We are getting used to not over reacting to that with Isaiah. It's also different holding a boy that has skin that doesn't blister from even a gentle touch. When Isaiah cries, which isn't very often, it's a comfort to know it's only from normal pain or need that any baby experiences. We didn't have Abby during most of her "baby" months, so we didn't have a chance to get over having a so called normal child.

We won't know for certain why we are here for an extended stay, but I'm sure dealing with these issues and our past is a benifit of this time. We are also making the most of this time by bonding with him, which is really important in the adoption process. Since not even grandparents can hold him the first week, it's actually easier for them!!

Well, we have much more to say about Isaiah and Abby, but will end this post for the day with plans to add more tomorrow in case we don't have internet at the next stop. We will have more pictures coming so be sure to check back.

While, we didn't sign up for a child like Isaiah, we know without a doubt that He was chosen for us. He is already a huge blessing in our lives and we look forward to bringing him home to meet everybody. You just won't be all able to hold him
right away.

Please pray for patience, for Abby and those caring for her, for us missing Abby and for Isaiah's continued progress in his health.

Trying to patiently wait,

Stu and Tashia and Little Man

Course is set. Destination: only God knows

2009-11-29T17:37:00.000-08:00

Times flies and yet again we haven't done well updating our blog. Well, hopefully now it's expected as the norm. I'm sure when the adoption process begins to finish there will a bit of a flurry of posts. It's bad when you have to re-read old posts to see where we left off.

Wow, now I really feel bad seeing that when we last left you we were "leaning toward infant adoption" and now we have been approved to adopt!!! We did decide on infant adoption, open to any race/gender 0-3 months and open or closed adoption. Our only exclusions were major disabilities or major substance abuse of parent as we aren't confident that we would be ready for that.

We have completed all the paperwork. Which is like buying a house except the background checks are much more intensive. Three home study visits are complete: two at a neutral site and one at the "home". Home study has been approved. Online courses are completed. One last day of classes in Blue Earth this Saturday (12/5), but we are already in the "pool".

I say pool because it's not really a waiting list. The birth mothers choose the adoptive parents by looking at their photo album showing their family. We did ours online and it's basically a scrapbook with a letter at the front. Here is the if you would like to view it.

Our agency, New Horizon's works in 3 states and we could get a child from any of SD, Minn or Iowa. If they have too many waiting families and we are open to it (we are) they will also move some to a North Carolina affiliate.

Also, if they still need more outlets, they have a Christian network of agencies that we could be sent to, but those are a bit more expensive and we will make that call if we come to it. We were surprised to find out that families in northern states are about 2x as likely to adopt an African American baby as those in the south.

So far we have been very impressed by New Horizons as they are very thorough and provide an excellent service and keep expenses much lower than others. This was the main reason we chose them from a few others. They really do their best to protect the adoptive families while providing every bit of help and assistance for the mothers and child as well. They even take the mother out for a shopping day and spend some money for their new size of clothes after they have the baby.

After going through the preliminary process, we are confident they are also picking the best families to raise these children and are humbled to be approved for 1 or 2(twins) children. If you ask Abby if she wants a brother or a sister, firmly and consistently says "no, I need both". Seems our pastor isn't the only one praying for multiples for us. (He has triplets, oh my)

This came about a bit faster than we expected as we were planning on needing some time to raise funding for this as we estimate it will total about $18,000 when we are complete. There is a tax credit, but that would have taken a few years to recoup back that investment so we didn't want to use loans or credit. Not a surprise for Financial Peace University grads right?

Anyway we were totally amazed to have almost all of that amount gifted to us in advance from family and church friends, unsolicited. We can't really truly be surprised anymore after the way God has blessed us already in life, but we will always be amazed and humbled!! And very thankful. Isn't God Great?!! Needless to say, this gave us the "kick in the pants" we needed and is the main reason we are at this point in just a few months. I must add that Tashia was very motivated! It has been exiting to have this support.

So, we are now waiting for news of when a mother chooses us. She may be in early or late pregnancy, even the day of birth. There is a decent chance that she would change her mind, but it would be before we take possession. Once the baby is born we would be able to visit during the waiting period while it is in foster care. When the waiting period is complete, which is days or a few weeks depending on the state, the baby would be ready to be placed. After this point it is very very rare that there would be any risk of losing the baby after this point. One of the many benefits to using an agency.

Hurry and wait. Tashia seems to be a bit more anxious, but not quite nervous at this point of not knowing when, where or how much. It could be quick as in weeks or it could up to or over a year, but not likely that long. We both are confident in God's timing and that he already knows the plans for our life as always. We do have names almost finalized.

All that and such a small part of everything else that goes on with life. We will try to fill in a few other details of the summer. Thankfully November has been great weather after Oct.

We are ready for snow as we put in a new sidewalk running along the boulevard in front of our house. It was to the point of getting a notice from the city. Stuart is definitely looking forward to at least one snow to try out scooping the smooth walk. He put it in with some big help from friends. Small town has it's privileges.

There was also a medium sized maple tree behind the house that needed to go from huge trunk damage and rot. We hired a neighbor to cut off the top of the tree and Stuart felled the tree by digging around the roots and cutting them off. Then he was a bit too exited to use his chainsaw for the first time in a few years. It only took one day, the last time he dug out a stump it took a few months and was more than he bargained for. Some say he is frugal, but he actually enjoys it. I'm sure the therapists have a named condition for it.

The summer was also relaxing, but we didn't get around to camping until the weekend before labor day for one night. It had been a few years and we found out that Iowa has plenty of red necks too. Abby had fun and we hope to do much more this year depending on how adoption works into it.

We had a few nice days playing and picnics in the city parks, parades, bike rides, running and just relaxing in the yard. Abby has a pair of children her age on each side of us and it's fun to see them all play after work. Stuart ran two 5k's and Tashia ran her first in Ida Grove. She only planned on walking it as she had trouble with injuries but she amazed us all and ran almost the whole thing on a very muggy morning. Seems we are both stubborn and persistent, usually in a good way.

Stuart has been battling sinus infections more in the recent years since his successful surgery 8 years ago. He had another one done last week that went well and is trying to get over the infection after 10 weeks of antibiotics. We go in tomorrow for a follow-up. He is very anxious to getting back to exercising as it is very draining. Tashia has done a great job putting up with him as many know he gets rather crabby with them. Especially if he's hungry as well!

Work has been slow at Midwest for Stuart. This has created many challenges and exiting opportunities for him and things are looking up for the start of the year.

We just finished 13 weeks of Financial Peace University. Stuart led the discussion group and Tashia ran the nursery. She deserves a raise:) It went well and is a very impressive and worthwhile program.

Two weeks ago we traveled up to the twin cities for the SDSU football game and from there Tashia and Stuart continued on to Chicago, while Abby spent the week with Nana and Pappa Uken. Stuart attended two full days of FABTECH, a fabrication expo show for work, while Tashia relaxed at the hotel. Who would have thought that the third week of November would be that bearable there.

We had one day and three nights to see the sites and get a "taste" of Chicago. The Cloud Gate at Millenium park was interesting, Navy Pier was good, but would be better in the summer. The food was good, but there were highs and lows. The highs were without a doubt Garrett's popcorn and Portillo's hot dogs. Yes that's right popcorn and hot dogs. Gino's pizza was a bit of a let down and Big Bowl Thai was a bit too much different than typical Thai.

Wrapping this up, we did an great outdoor photo shoot in Sioux Falls. We were very pleased with the shoot and the pictures. See for yourself, after clicking the link, go to "proof" and type "abby". Two very pretty ladies huh? Editors note: And a pretty handsome guy if I do say so myself.

Hope that was all coherent and I'm sure we missed a few things, but those should be the big highlights.

Trying to be still and wait,

Stu and the Glamor Girls

PS - Thanks for those that continue to check the un-updated blog. It encourages us to keep this going and we are thankful for your faithful visits. And thanks for all your continued prayers during the adoption process.

PPS - Also, please pray for a friends family as their immediate safety is a concern. Pray also for the individual suffering from depression.

Bitter Sweet

2009-06-21T17:05:00.000-07:00

Anthony's birthday falls on Father's Day this year. We remember all our children on these type of days, but the boys' birthdays and the day they passed on to a better life are tough in their own way. Even after three years they hit us a few days before. We get moody and crabby with each other and don't realize right away that it still affects us.

They do get a bit easier with every year that passes, but they are still hard. There are so many of these days in the first half of the year now for us. Memorial day weekend is also hard. Still one more date to go in August. We especially appreciate those that remember these days with us and bring up our boys and experiences in conversations with us. I'm not sure that we would ever not want to talk about them.

Our memorial garden turned out very well and only have a plant or two to add. Dad worked really hard for a few days to get it done as he has issues with wrapping up projects. This one was important to us and was a constructive way to spend remembering James on his birthday. As you can see, Abby was a big help with the project and loves to be doing what ever Daddy is doing. He really appreciates a daughter that isn't afraid to get her hands dirty. It really is uncanny how much she is like her Dad.

Abby continues to amaze us and bring joy into our lives everyday. We are in the middle of potty training (for the 3rd time) and she seems to be ready for it this time. She has been doing very good as it finally clicked. Now if she would only go #2 we would be good to go. We also used cloth training pants this time so she gets wet when she has an accident. Pull ups are great in concept but don't seem to faze our Miss Abby as it is to much like a diaper to her. Dad is having a hard time adjusting to all the ins and outs though.

She loves to talk and carry on conversations which are tough to follow. Usually if you can pick out a word, you can figure out what she is talking about. What Abby lacks in size, she has in agility and determination. Here she is climbing up a fairly steep slide at the secluded park that Dad takes her to.

Dad finally broke down and Mom purchased a DVD for the van for "long trips" only. You can see that it helps pass the time well.

This weekend is our Heritage Days for Ida Grove with a run/walk, duck race, rides, eating and parade. So daddy has been training for a 5K run and mommy of course injured herself so will be walking the 5K. Mommy thinks it is God's way of telling her she is not a runner. Although we know that is just her excuse. But she has been working our hard again to lose weight and get into shape. With potty training she doesn't have much time to do much else.

Grandpa and Grandma Uken will be coming down this week and we are all going to Omaha for a few days. Abby hopes to meet Elmo live at the Children's museum and we will also go to the zoo and a few other attractions. It's only an 1 1/2 hours from here, but we don't get there often enough.

We are trying to enjoy this summer as we haven't been able to take advantage of that the last few years. We haven't camped yet, but would like to soon. This fall we will begin to pursue plans to expand our family if it's God's will. We are strongly leaning to adopting an infant if possible.

Thanks for checking in on us and hope to see you soon. We aren't the best at posting on the blog anymore, but you can take that as a sign that things are going very well for us.

Until next time,

Stu, Tashia and Abby in training

We really miss our Little Dude

2009-04-18T19:00:00.000-07:00

James' birthday is Thursday 4/23. Just like Tony's, it sneaks up on us and pretty much hits us harder than we are used to. We will be out of town three different weekends in May so we decided not to go back to SF to visit the grave site next week. Instead we will be working on the boys' memorial garden in front our house.

We started it last year by clearing out the juniper bushes. This morning Stuart moved the two big rocks, one has to be at least 400lbs. Then he removed some stone edging, leveled the dirt and arranged small retaining wall blocks and plastic edging to finish the design side. It was lightly raining so it was a bit messy but not a major obstacle.

Next week we will need to fill in the low spots and behind the blocks with dirt. We hope to be able to get the mulch and plant flowers on Saturday. It should give us something constructive to do while still remembering him.

Last night we attended the Michael W. Smith/Steven Curtis Chapman concert in the Sioux City Orpheum along with a few friends. We all had a great time. We both enjoy their music and they played a few songs that are very special to us. It was emotional at times but also healing. Chapman spent time talking about his trial and that was an encouragement to us.

Abby is still amazing us every day. She's just a wonderful little girl and brings us such joy. It's quite the mix of emotions that we can experience. It's a concrete example of "joy amidst the pain". She is still as social as ever and loves to go to the park with her friends.

We haven't moved too far on either Adoption or Foster care. There isn't a big rush for us and still seem to change our thoughts on it week to week. We are planning on enjoying this spring and summer. But we know all too well it will depend on what God has planned for us.

Thanks for all of you that continue to pray for us.

Looking forward to our boys again,

Stu, Tashia and Abby

Happy 2nd Birthday Abby!!

2009-02-07T19:23:00.000-08:00

The weekend started out with Nana and Papa coming Friday night for the weekend. Followed by Uncle Mike and Cara coming today to help celebrate her birthday. We decided not to do big parties as she is only 2 and won't remember yet. We had lunch, an Elmo cake and presents. Which she enjoyed. Although she wouldn't have cared if anyone including mommy and daddy were there as long as Uncle Mike was here. She loves her Uncle Mike. Thanks Uncle Mike and Cara for making the drive down. We celebrated with Tashia's family last weekend and Abby had lots of fun playing with her cousins Cadin, Kenzie, Landon and Kallie. She also enjoyed her presents. Thanks for the gifts. We will update again soon with pictures but wanted to at least post a Happy Birthday on her birthday.

Happy Birthday Abby!!

We love you!!

A New Year

2009-01-18T13:20:00.000-08:00

Dad decided to put Abby in a box against her will. Once in there she wouldn't come out! Our first round of potty training had mixed results. We decided to back off and wait longer. She wants to use it periodically, she just doesn't "use" it.

Abby has been growing fast and you can't tell she was a premie anymore. She's been in a toddler bed now for a few months. We just weened Mom off of staying in the room until she's asleep.

Tashia is going away for the weekend to scrapbook with friends. It's her first time away and dad's 1st time with Abby. He could stay and brave it alone, but instead will head back to enlist the help of the grandparents. It wasn't too hard to talk them into it!

We continue to be amazed at the billing system of heath care. Yesterday we received a two page bill for 20 cents! This was due to paying a bill one day late. They were aware that we had to reprocess the claim (another story). The funny thing is, we know that if we do not pay this that we will eventually have a collection agency after us. This happened when we were not aware that we had an outstanding bill of less than $2 to another heath facility. Thought we would share our amusing experience. We may have someone we know drop by and give them a quarter. They can keep the change. (Don't get us started on HIPAA)

Well, back to our family. Many ask us what's next on our plans for children. We still want more and have decided not to have any more on our own. It's not that we are afraid that we couldn't do it if we had another EB child. We know God would see us through again.

Through time and prayer we are still feeling led to adopt a child. We would really love another infant as we have yet to care for a child between 2 and 7 months old and really like caring for babies.

We are just beginning the process of getting information and deciding which avenue to take. Financially we are getting ourselves ready so we can act when the opportunity presents itself. We know it can take years and would like to fill an immediate need if possible. So, we are also looking into foster care. Again, that is also a process with it's own risks and trials.

Our desire long term would be to adopt and/or foster older children that are unable to get placed. Before that we would like to raise our children for experience and also to be role models for those youth.

All of this is going to require us to be patient and wait on God's timing. It could turn out that this is not where he wants to lead us, but we sure hope so!

Blessings to you all this year,

Stu, Tashia and Abby-in-a-box

Time Flies, Kids Grow

2008-10-26T18:00:00.000-07:00

We can't believe that it's been since before our trip that we last posted. Our trip was great and we sure needed the rest and time alone together. We took advantage of the area in many ways. Our favorites were seeing Mt. Rushmore at night, hiking Harney Peak and riding the 1880 train between Hill City and Keystone.

As you can see Abby is growing, we were moving stuff around and she tried out the baby swing one last time. She just moved to the toddler bed a few weeks ago and hopefully the potty chair is next :) She loves watching her movies and her favorite is her Boz dvds.

Hopefully we will get a chance to post more and update our online album over the colder months. Just know if we don't post, things are probablly going well for us. We suggest suscribing to the blog so you can get an email when we update the blog.

As always, we appreciate your prayers as we are starting to think and pray about growing our family. It was decided awhile ago not to have children on our own any more and will soon medically take that option away.

We are at peace with this decision, but it does make us sad to be reminded why. It's hardest for us when time goes by and we don't take time to remember our boys. It eventually hits us when we don't expect it.

There is a song that we found recently that is special to us. It's "Yours" by Steven Curtis Chapman. Earlier in the year He lost his youngest 5 year old daughter, who was adopted. He added a new verse to the end of this song and it sums up how we have hope and joy through the loss we have experienced. We encourage you to download/buy the new version of the song as all the proceeds will go to his adoption chairty.

Thankful that God is in control,

Stu, Tashia and Abby

Change of Plans

2008-07-27T19:11:00.000-07:00

A few days after we posted last we changed our trip plans from Maine to the Black Hills. We finally found good prices for flights, but it would mean driving to Omaha and flying into NH. We weren't able to use frequent flier miles like we had hoped. The next morning the prices went up but we weren't ready to book, then they jumped again that night.

We discussed our original options and decided that a trip to the Black Hills would not only be cheaper but would also fit our goals better for the trip. This trip is to reconnect and strengthen our marraige. Flying to a new destination and having to plan, see and do would likely get in the way. It's still on the list, but will be another year.

This will also allow us to use the Labor Day Holiday weekend without worrying about expensive and busy airlines. We will start the vacation off on Thursday as we will go to Ames to watch SDSU play Iowa St in football. Then on Friday we will go to Sioux Falls to spend time at Life Light and with our family before we leave Abby with Papa and Nana Uken and take off for the Hills early Sunday.

We have a bed and breakfast near Hill City reserved from Sunday night until we leave Saturday morning. Stuart is familiar with the area and we will do some moderate sight seeing, but will still leave plenty of time to relax and enjoy the area.

The last few weeks were a little busy with less sleep. We helped with VBS last week, which was in the evening and we also had our wood floors on the main level refinished. Tashia went back to SF for a day with Abby. This meant we had to fit everything into our kitchen, laundry and porch. They turned out well and we are proud to say that we now have pictures on the wall in less than 1 year this time!!

Abby kicked this week off with a high fever that lasted four days. Her temp was hitting 105 with both Tylenol, Ibuprophen and sponge baths. It was likely Roseola, which is a low risk viral infection that infects kids under 4. She did get the tell tale rash after her fever broke. This was very tough for us in two ways. As with any parent, it's hard to see your children suffer with nothing you can do to help them. It's amplified after what we have been through with our sons. All we long for is healthy children at this point.

Even though we trust in God's plan and have no reason to believe that he would take Abby, we still have to contend with the fear that we would lose her. This was very strong as we went to the clinic not knowing if it was a severe infection and then a few days later to the ER after the fever kept going up. We have been there too much.

Otherwise things have been going well. Stuart has been golfing more this summer. He will also be traveling to East Iowa next weekend. There is a mandatory meeting relating to hunting on the Iowa Army Ammunition Plant land in Burlington Iowa where he plans on hunting in December. It's a large area of federal land surrounding the plant and drawings are held to gain hunting access. He will be joining a college friend and others.

Tashia continues to do much better at the fitness plan the Stuart. She's well on her way to her goal and has decided to join Stuart in running the Hobo Day 5k this fall. She had a slight setback with a painful foot, but thankfully that went away and wasn't a fracture or sprain as we had feared.

James' gravesite marker has been placed and we are anxious to see it. It's nice to have his and the others' pictures on the walls now. Hopefully after Stuart gets back the memorial garden will make it to the next phase.

That's it for now.

Trying to stay cool, fit, and healthy,

Stuart, Tashia and Little Miss Abby

Starting the Next Chapter

2008-07-08T18:31:00.000-07:00

It's been over a month since we last gave you all an update. If you have followed us for awhile, you probably guess things are getting back to normal and our posts will be more sporadic now. I'm sure we will have plenty to share about Abby and will try to have photos as well.

Our most exiting news, well to us anyway is that we are planning a trip for the two of us this fall. We went to Florida the January after Tony passed away and found it to be an important reconnection time for us. This time we don't want to wait as long and will hopefully be booking flights this week for a September trip to Maine. We wanted to pick a place neither of us have been to before. It will be a 5 day trip and we will see some sites but will focus more on relaxing together.

Tashia has been much better at exercising and losing weight so far. Stuart came down with a typical sinus infection after the 1st week and hasn't gotten back on track since. We ran/walked a 5k together and both hope to run one together in October. After recovering from her own sinus infection last week, Tashia now has a pain in her foot and is either a stress fracture or tendonitis. This is a big bummer for her as she was really wanting to get into the running routine.

Abby is doing great and is still keeping us moving. She's adding words to her vocabulary and can understand most basic commands. Last week she crawled up on the chair at the table by herself. We decided she deserved to use a booster seat now like a big girl. She got to go to the wading pool twice today. She seems to enjoy the water, but also will just stand and watch the other kids play.

Reina is doing well with the underground fence and seems to enjoy the extra freedom. It makes it easier for the family to hang out on the porch with out getting tripped by her old tie out. The cat is doing fine and Dad has learned not to get her riled up when Abby is around. Otherwise she tends to lash out at Abby.

We made it to our Tony and James' grave sites this last weekend. We meant to go last time we were in SF, but missed the closing time and had to wait until now. It was much harder not being there for Tony's birthday (6/21/06) than we thought. We almost drove up just for the day but ended up waiting. We aren't sure if we mentioned it before, but James' site is just two to the south of Tony's which is nice. His marker has been ordered and should be placed in a month or two.

That's all for now, hope to give some more info this week. It gets eaiser every week, but even though we have been here before it still can be a strain on our lives as well as our marraige and family. We also have some big decisions to make on family planning options. As always we thank you for your prayers.

Trusing God and Renewed Daily,

Stu, Tashia and Little Fish

Day by Day

2008-06-04T18:48:00.000-07:00

This has been quite a gap after the almost daily updates about James. Our tracker shows that there a lot of people that are still checking in on how we are doing. We greatly appreciate that.

We are now half-way through a "normal" week and it has been good to move forward but also very tough at times. The hardest part is that we are both away from each other for a much longer period than we are used to. Dad is back to work full time and mom is holding down the home front, which was a bit behind to start the week.

Today has been one of our worst days and we are looking forward to the weekend. It's hard to remember exactly how we dealt with it after Tony but it's good that we don't remember those things. We do know it gets better with time. Another reason today was tough was some bitter sweet news we were alerted to yesterday.

There was a couple with four children and two had a severe form of EB. Last fall they lobbied and were allowed to try a potential break through bone marrow transplant on the youngest brother using stem cells from one of the healthy older brothers. They just released news yesterday that it seems to be working and may be a cure for EB.

Obviously we are overjoyed for them and all EB families as we know how hard you hope that your child would be cured. This is providing huge hope for them all and shows promise. Besides revisiting the facts of EB, we were reminded that it's too late for our two sons and it would also be a longshot for any future children. We will be going into more detail on that and provide a link to the stories in a future post. Consider that our cliffhanger for this episode.

We both decided to set aggressive goals for losing weight in the next 4 weeks. It's something we wanted to do and decided it may be good to keep us active. Yes some of the blame is from all the wonderful food we were provided for the last month and we would eat it all again if we had the chance! So far it's tough getting up in the morning to exercise, but Abby assures us she would help with that regardless.

She has been good at night until last night and may have some teeth on the move again. It's fun to watch her smile and laugh with her new chompers. She has a new chuckle she likes to show off. Abby still says hi and bye to everyone she sees, usually more that once.

Another goal we have is to get started on a memorial flower garden in our yard. We were sad to leave Tony's in SF and learned that it was very helpful for the grieving process.

Again, we are amazed and overwhelmed by the condolences and comfort we are receiving from all. We can't thank you all enough for everything you have provided and continue to provide for us and our family. We truly feel loved and taken care of.

One of our biggest challenges is to continue to rely on God's strength to get us through. It's easy for us to think we can handle things on our own, especially when things go well in life. We must remember daily to surrender to the one in control and that is when we truly find peace.

Still drained, now with sore muscles,

Stu, Tashia and Miss Social

A Better Day

2008-05-26T16:37:00.001-07:00

Yesterday we packed up James' things but didn't have much energy to do anything else.

Today was much better. We were able to pick up and tidy the house and have finalized all the funeral details. It was a very nice day out and spent time outside for part of it. Family arrived for supper and we are all in better spirits.

Abby was having a great day until she slipped on the front porch steps. She managed to hit and scrape her chin, lip, gums around her latest tooth and her forehead. It's not as bad as it sounds, but it's changed her outlook on the day.

Even if we don't bandage her wounds, they will heal and disappear in a few days. Of course our minds will almost always realize that to her brothers, this would be a disaster. We have to balance between being overly protective and concerned for our only child and being under sympathetic and concerned because we have seen the worst.

We are both looking forward to the services so we can move and dreading going through this a second time. It's a rare event that parents have to bury a child and we will do this now for the second time. We also look forward to celebrating James' life and giving glory to God.

Please continue to pray for healthy grieving for our family and safe travel for all.

Comforted by the only One who truly understands,

Stu, Tashia and Tough Girl

PS - we forgot to leave the webisite for Abiding Savior, the location for the reception on Wednesday. We should arrive around 11:45

www.knowingthesavior.org/

Again all are welcome to come to one or all of the services/receptions.

Details

2008-05-25T17:23:00.000-07:00

Going through the arrangements during these times isn't easy or enjoyable. However, it's a necessary step in the process. Even though Abby keeps us busy, we are still tired and weary. We know by experience that it does get better with time.

Below are websites with information for this week. The link feature still doesn't work for me, so you will have to cut and paste.

Hills of Rest (burial) - www.hillsofrest.com/

Arthur Evengelical Free Church - www.arthurefc.org

Ida Grove accomodations - www.idagroveia.com/Resources/pages/aboutig_business.html#Anchor-44867

Funeral Home Site www.christensenhuffman.com/

That's all for now, keep visiting for more.

Stu, Tashia and Abby

Tuesday and Wednesay

2008-05-24T09:16:00.000-07:00

It's a bit lonely and sullen even with the family around. We thank God that we have Abby to give us a lift. She is going to keep us active for sure. Her two top front teeth have broken through, but they are still making her a bit restless at night.

Nights are especially lonely since we had to have James between us in bed at night to make sure we heard him cry and breath. Our sleep has been sound and eventually we will be back on a normal schedule.

We were dissapointed to find out the casket has to be closed. Besides kissing him goodbye one more time, we wanted everyone to see him that haven't had a chance.

Services will be Tuesday and Wednesday. Tuesday there will be visitation from 9-11 at the Arthur church with a service at 11 and reception following. Wednesday we will have the burial service at 11 am at Hills of Rest in Sioux Falls, followed by a reception at Abiding Savior.

All are welcome and invited at any of the services. Please pass this on to those you can. We will provide directions and other information in the days to follow.

Missing our Little Dude,

Stu, Tashia and Abby.

Home with Jesus

2008-05-23T02:15:00.000-07:00

James passed on to his Heavenly home at 3 am this morning. He proved to be quite the fighter.

Check back for information on the services.

Please keep our family in your prayers.

Resting,

Stu, Tashia and Abby

Final Moments with our Son

2008-05-21T08:55:00.001-07:00

We checked back into the local hospital Monday afternoon. James was back to about 6lbs and none of the meds have stopped his fluid loss. His fever did break.

All of our attempts to get him fluids at the hospital failed and we have decided that He is ready to go home. This was Monday night and amazingly he is still with us. He is a very strong little guy if only his skin were so...

We are expecting him to leave us at any time and the family is all at the hosptial with him. It may not be right away, but we will still update this site with the news and information to follow.

Weary and relying on God's strength and peace,

Stu, Tashia, Abby and precious Little Dude

Rolling with the Changes

2008-05-17T19:35:00.000-07:00

Go figure, it wasn't even 30 minutes after typing the last update that the Little Dude decided to start throwing up. It was only a few meals yesterday. Today proved much tougher for him. Since 5am he's had over 15 diaper changes and his stools are totally runny.

He also has been running a temp and hasn't slept for more than 10 min straight. So around 6 we took him to the ER. There's no acute care here, but we got service right away. We did take him home with the plan of giving him the Tylenol with Codine every 4hrs along with continuing the stronger doses of Imodium AD. He also was started on some oral antibiotics this afternoon. They started one bacteria culture from the stools and are trying to collect more. However he's only had one right after getting home, so that's good news.

James is also looking a bit better. He was looking really rough at 6 and still is pretty wiped out. Good thing he's been gaining weight. Hopefully the next dose of Codine will knock him out and give him some good rest. The bad side to that is it's tough to wake him enough to eat.

Needless to say it's been a rough day. This is why we are reluctant to give such raving reports like the last because we know days like this are right around the corner. Since this has come on fast we think it is likely an infection either viral or bacterial. His wounds haven't looked infected so we are surprised to see him like this. We are hoping he turns the corner on this so we don't have to have an IV as we doubt there is much experience here giving 7lb kids IV's. That and we saw how hard it was with Tony.

That said, the weather has been great and we both slept well because one Grandma took care of James and the other Abby. And of course we still felt tired in the morning. We hit two quick rummages before giving our nickel tour to some friends visiting from Sioux Falls. After that we spent a few hours at the park with the kids. Surprisingly our daring Abby is scared of the swings.

Dad is well into his project of installing an underground dog fence. Reina should enjoy her expanded territory and it will be easier on us. The cat has been sneaking out quite often with all the company and Dad had to climb out on the roof to get her while installing a window AC unit.

Even with the extra sleep we are quite exhausted from the the emotional drain today. Even though we know he would be in total peace in Heaven we are scared to have to let another child go. It seems like well over a month that we have been out of the hospital the last time, but he's just over 3 weeks old and still seems to be progressing much faster than Tony.

We are continually strengthened by your prayers and request them even more for endurance, wisdom for decisions and most of all comfort and healing for James.

All we can do is trust, pray, praise and do what we can for our family.

Stu, Tashia, Abby and James

Scheduled Chaos

2008-05-16T05:13:00.000-07:00

This week we have been doing much better at getting into a rythym and schedule. Our sleep schedule seems to be at a sustainable level and we are both able to care for James and spend some time with Abby. Grandma has been a big part of this and the question is can we do it without extra help next week.

Abby is teething her center top teeth. She already has the next set of upper teeth and center bottom teeth. It hasn't been as bad at night as in the past, but she has been more cranky overall.

James is gaining weight. How much exactly is tough to tell. We are confident that is at least 6lbs 13 oz and possibly 7lbs now. His feeding was outstanding at the beginning of the week, but has struggled the last few days. This is partly due to the fact that we tried Tylenol with Codine, which knocked him out too well. This made him too lethargic to keep up his appetite. We will either try a half dose or save it when he is in more pain. Maybe we can just drug our kids at night to get our rest!

Little Dude continues to heal, but also continues to have new blisters. There have been a few that have appeared on newly healed skin on his legs which is always dissapointing. We continue to try new methods to heal and prevent blisters. We still hope that we can get the healing to outpace the damage of skin. Time will tell on this.

Other than a hoarse voice, his insides seem to be stable. No gagging episodes since we went to the hospital and breathing seems ok. Sometimes there is gunk in or behind his nose that can affect eating.

His stools might be getting firmer. This is nice because instead of many runny diapers we hope to keep it to just one or two a day. We have doubled the does of Imodium AD and the Codine may have helped this also. We have stopped the breast milk as the pumping is done. We do have a few days supply in the freezer in case we need to loosen things up.

We urge you to read an article by cutting and pasting the address below: (can't get the link feature to work)

http://www.hattiesburgamerican.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?aid=/20080511/lifestyle/805110325

This article may help explain the hope of miraculous healing that we have for James. What it doesn't mention is that parents in situations like these have other options. Ones that we honestly never for a moment considered. We could have finished the gentetic testing and determined that James had EB before birth. We shudder at the thought of the options that follow. Either playing with lives by deciding which embryo's get chosen or even worse killing a life in the womb. Unfortunately this does often happen and with children that have non-fatal diseases or even none at all.

Also understand that even without a miracle, we have a hope that drives us everyday. That if James passes on before us, he will have full healing and total comfort in Heaven with Tony. The fact that James is now comforted and cared for by the same Loving God as us gives us comfort everyday.

Please pray that his wounds would heal at a faster rate than his skin is damaged, that we would find a schedule and pattern of life that would work long term and for miraculous healing for James.

Stu, Tashia, Chompers and Larger Dude

Baby with a Blue Dress

2008-05-12T18:52:00.001-07:00

About a month ago we took Abby in for her first photo shoot. You can view the photos online and even order them if you wish. They will be available for viewing until May 21. Click on the link below and type in uken for the password.

http://www.photoreflect.com/pr3/ThumbAccess.aspx?e=3647458

The last two days have been much better for Little Dude. Both days he's matched his highs for intake. With the extra calories he's around 140. His weight has been moving back up as well and hopefully continues. He keeps it down well which is good because Tony had reflux issues. James does well belching. Not sure who he got that from, we'll let you all take guesses on that.

His wounds seem to be doing better and likely is the result of extra calories and nutrition. We think his elbow is now to the scar tissue stage meaning it needs only protective bandaging. Scabs are falling off his early leg wounds and are leaving pink skin as well. His bottom is still bare but isn't as raw and shows signs of repair. The wounds that are still not sealing up are the wrist, belly button and his original leg sore.

We haven't had to lance as many blisters the last few days. Grandma Beth will be back tonight and with her help we can hopefully get new clothes to help prevent them better.

To give you an idea on how many blisters have formed, we started using a box of 100 lances almost 2 weeks ago and we only have half a dozen left. We usually lance multiple blisters with each one. Dad wasted one tonight after accidently slicing his thumb. Many are blisters that refill, but the majority are new. We don't remember Tony having this many.

Thankfully most are small, pencil eraser size or smaller. But there are the occasional large ones. Regardless, it's tough to watch our little man go through this and when we step back and look we realize he's similar to the scary pictures you may have seen on the web for EB.

If we keep him lubed up with Aquaphor it does help his tempermant and the gas drops do seem to be helping that effect. We started trying a new product called Desitin Clear. It's their version of Aquaphor and seems to work well on his bottom. It applies very gentle and seems to be protecting between diaper changes.

We did get some rest, but it may be a long time until we feel fully refreshed. It will help having more help this week and Abby may stay longer at day care for a few days a week.

Thanks for keeping our family in your prayers.

Realizing that Spring is here to stay,

Over Fed, Mothers Day Award Winner, Poser and Scale Tipper

Refilling the Tank

2008-05-10T18:27:00.000-07:00

There's still one thing worth more than gas right now and that's sleep. We caught a few extra hours, but need quite a bit more especially after the last few draining days.

James ate well yesterday but is slower today. His weight gain has stalled for the moment and is at 6lb 8oz. We decided to increase from 26 cal to 30 cal. For comparison, regular formula and breast milk is 10 cal, so we are adding 50% more just to try and get weight gain. We also are using half breast milk and half formula to see if that change will firm up his stools.

He still seems to be in pain and it's tough to tell if it's just normal infant gas/bowel pain or from wounds. We assume that much is from the latter even though it's likely "normal" to him. If/when things get worse we will be considering pain management, but for now he's just getting tylenol.

Yesterday morning was very tough as he had some blisters start on his back. This area of the skin seems to be thinner and they spread fast. We seem to have contained it to a small area, but it's not fun to drain a blister larger than a grape.

Our spirits did get a lift with the arrival of family last night. Today we ventured out of town to the metropolis of Storm Lake for a quick Walmart stop and some good Mexican Food.

We can say it enough. Thank you to everyone that is providing meals, a helping hand, encouraging words, lifting us up in prayer and everything else. You have all been such a blessing to us during this trying time. We are also thankful that most of James medical needs are being covered by insurance and have no financial concerns at this time. Some families with EB kids are paying over a thousand dollars a month to bandage their children, some who will live past 30.

Our prayers right now are for endurance, rest, healing and comfort for James.

Tired, but very thankful,

Stu, Tashia, A Marion and J Glen

Is it Friday yet?

2008-05-08T16:58:00.001-07:00

Last night took a few more hours of sleep away from us. Abby has been getting up early and last night needed to be rocked back to sleep twice. A typical night between 9 and 7 includes at least three James feedings and a few pump sessions.

James currently requires the full attention of 1 parent at all times. Sometimes he will stay content in the crib for about a half hour before getting cranky. We try not to let him stay cranky because his voice is now gone and he gets figity and causes more blisters. We are going to add gas drops to the medicine list to ease that pain as that accounts for a lot of it. So far the stools are still runny and can explode at any moment.

When Abby is around 1 parent can manage both kids only for very short periods. James requires too much attention and focus which leaves Abby starved and getting into mischief. Since Dad works when Abby is being watched, that really leaves zero time for ourselves. It does take it's toll and we are longing for a break this weekend even if for a few ours out of the house together and a few more hours of sleep.

It seems as if James is still gaining weight but the scale didn't move up the last two mornings. His feedings are as strong, but he has compensated by eating more often. He now coughs an average of twice a feeding and this really wears him out.

His skin is still progressing along with signs on the inside as well. His bottom is the same and it's likely that the rest of the wounds are healing slower now. With that great week he had we were getting more optimistic, but the last 3 days are what we expected. It just seems faster that it progressed with Tony.

James is feeding better, but that may be attributed to higher calorie formula. It wasn't until we were home with Anthony in his 4th or 5th week that he was coughing and this hoarse. Not great news, but that's the way it is with these kids.

We did talk with the nurse educator from Debra (the non-profit EB cure and resource organization). Not much new we didn't already know, but she did mention siblings almost always have the same severity of the disease.

The hardest part right now is seeing our Son suffer and know there is little we can do about it. We pray that if it is not God's will to heal him that his suffering will be minimized. Though we love him so, there is also a selfish part of us that want to be relieved of the resposibility of his care.

We hope James is touching your lives like Tony did for many. As long as he's with us we hope to share him as best we can.

Abby has been enjoying her day care and has been doing some exiting things. She likes the sandbox and playing with her new friend. We measured her today and she grew over an inch the last month. She is so big now compared to James, but most kids make her look petite. She seems to be adapting and just wants some more attention.

Longing for peace for James,

Stu, Tashia, Sprout, Jimbo

Hungry and Cranky Dude

2008-05-06T17:10:00.000-07:00

Little dude is getting bigger. He weighed in at 6lbs 9oz this morning and he was also weighed at his doctor appt. and he measured the same. It's very likely that the hospital scale was off. It's tough to say if his birth weight was accurate, but the good news is he is steadily gaining weight now. He now eats less often because now he gulps down over 2 oz. He's up over 120 cal/kg/day now and we hope to keep him there and more. He does aspirate and cough about everyfeeding, but he seems to be dealing with it at the moment.

The downside to eating more of the fortified milk, is that his stools are now runny. He usually dirties about 3 diapers in 30 min or less about once a day. This keeps us busy and is hard on his bottom. He also gets very cranky before hand and has his fare share of gas as well. We will try some medicine to slow the stools down and help him keep some of the fluids.

James' crying is now hoarse and sometimes silent. It's another reminder of the internal trauma. Tony's vocal chords showed scarring on his scope.

His blisters are a bit worse the last two days. We aren't exactly sure why, but he is a bit more active and now that he's taking more fluid that may cause them to spread faster. It's frustrating to see this at this point as we really want to turn the corner. It's getting hard to stay energetic and creative in trying to find better ways to protect his skin.

We've had some great help this week with watching Abby and house chores. It's allowed Dad to go to work and James to have 1 on 1 attention. Abby seems to be adapting and a regular schedule will help that.

It's nice when picking Abby up because she's eager to see us and wants to be in our arms. That's a great feeling especially right now. We can't help but think that God feels the same way when we call him Daddy and rest in his arms and rely on his strenth.

Please continue to pray that we would get the needed rest and the wisdom to prevent and care for his woulds. That James would have comfort from pain, that his wounds would heal, that he would continue to gain weight and eat well and that his stools would firm up.

Adjusting to our new everyday life,

Stu, Tashia, Abby and James

On Our Own

2008-05-04T18:30:00.000-07:00

The last of our family help left at 1:30 and we are now on our own until the weekend. We very much appreciated help from all of our family, including Tashia's mother and sister this weekend And soon after they left, reality hit hard and fast. We had planned to give James a sponge bath and change his dressings while Abby napped. Abby didn't cooperate and since it's a two person job, we had a screaming mad daughter for over an hour. Oh, and besides James peeing on everything for maybe the 10th time (we've get distracted), dad got some dirty jeans from James.

All total it took almost two hours, but it was much needed as the Little Dude was starting to get a little stank going. We were pleased by his wound progress. The elbow and umbilical area look great and appear to be close to or in the scar tissue phase. The wrist hasn't progress much though.

His bottom area has gotten a bit worse. Not many new blisters, but the old skin covering on the blisters has slid off. We now have to be sure to keep that area coated, otherwise he feels pain. Everything that is still covered with the skin seems to also be in the scar phase, but it's hard to know if we can get the newly exposed areas to progress.

We have to take it with a grain of salt, but he did gain some weight back and appears to be at 6lbs 6oz. His face does seem fuller today. He finished yesterday very well for feeding and today was almost as good. James also got to feel the wind in his face as we spent some time outdoors today.

A few of our friends visited us yesterday and we gave them the local tour. It was the first trip out for Tashia since the birth other than to and from the hospital.

As you can see Abby has learned to be gentle with her fragile brother and has been lightly kissing his head and patting his head with her hand.

Well, we are both quite tired and are going to try and get a head start on sleep for the week. Pray that we would be patient and trust that what to offer our children is enough for the moment.

Stu, Tashia, Gentle Sis and Clean Dude

Silky Soft

2008-05-03T05:11:00.000-07:00

As you can see James is getting quite the outfit. He now has leg sleeves to match his arms. This helps further protect his legs. Even with the latest diapers, the ribbon knot would still hit his leg and maybe was adding to his blisters. The hat was Tony's and was part of a package that was sent by a lady in Utah. It was from here that we were able to get some of this special fabric to make these clothes.

After a few great days for James, yesterday was a bit tougher. Yesterday morning after midnight his feedings decreased quite a bit. It was obvious that something changed inside that was giving him pain and discomfort. It wasn't until last night that he started getting back to where he was. His average for the last three days was good, but he does need to keep increasing.

The baby scale we are using from the clinic doesn't seem to be the most accurate. Also, it's reading about 8 oz or more lower than the hospital. It's tough to know which weights were correct, but it's likely that he has not back to his birthweight. All infants usually don't climb back until their second week. If the scale is reading right, he's been losing about 1/2oz or holding steady.

Starting Monday, Abby will be going to a home to get watched from about 9am to 3pm and later on some days. This will allow dad to work and mom to have J Glen alone. We may also need nursing or repite care in the future, but probably won't do that at this point.

Abby seems to be doing better since we are home and has learned that James comes first. Her cough is still there at night and was up quite a bit. Thankfully, Grandma Sue and Aunt Chelsie came last night to help as Grandpa and Grandma Uken left late last night. We took a picture of her first fat lip. Dad was taking something away from her and she fell face down. It wasn't too hard, but cut her lip.

Our plan is to refill our sleep tanks as much as possible this weekend to give ourselves as much steam as possible for the week. We will see how we hold up. If James is stable it will help a lot.

Thankful we don't have to rely on our own strength,

Stu, Tashia, Abby and James

Pictures!!!

2008-05-01T03:45:00.001-07:00

We've started to upload our pictures. Click on the link to the right to see more of our family. This is a photo from 10 minutes ago. You can see he lost a bit of his chubbiness the last few days. Maybe we can add it back on and then some.

James ended the day with his best total, slightly better than two days ago. He had some big gaps last night, but made up for it with two big feedings this morning, one over 2 ounces! Hopefully he will steadily continue his feedings.

Mom did get some extra sleep because of the less feedings, but still has to get up to pump a few times. Dad did relieve her this morning and hopefully get used to getting up even earlier.

Have a good day,

Stu, Tashia, Glamour Shot and LD

Home Again

2008-04-30T17:42:00.001-07:00

James decided to kick his feeding in gear last night and seems to have jumped this latest hurdle. He still needs to continue to improve, but there is nothing the hospital could offer that home can't right now.

He has mouth syrup that has some numbing and other medicines to ease his feeding pain and we also gave him some tylenol. However, he doesn't seem to have pain at the moment and a large part may have been learning to breath while eating. Most infants have a learning curve and loose weight the first week. Unfortunately James does not have that luxury and needs to bounce back sooner.

His weight has been about the same the last few days. Yesterday was 6lbs 13oz and today was 6 13.5. The clinic had a used scale that the Doc sent home with us that will help us monitor between visits. We also have a suction device to aid us if, but more likely when he has choking episodes due to thick mucous.

No new blisters to speak of in the last 24 hours. Time will tell if his open sores will seal shut as we had trouble with Anthonys getting past the last healing stage. The blisters that kept thier skin covering seem to be progressing through the final stages.

Dad was able to make into work for the first time this week, but we still have a long way to go to get into a managable pattern. We are contemplating sending Abby to the same home for the same time period every day to help both her and us to adjust. Last night we decided to come home and give here our undivided attention for a few hours and that was time well spent.

We forgot to mention that Since the weekend, Abby has had a cold and has not been sleeping well. She also seems to be teething again and this afternoon has been in pain.

Mom needs to catch up on sleep so Dad will have to give up some of his that he's been clinging to.

Overall the last two days have been positive and are biggest worries are maintaining a balance to our lives and caring for our Little Dude the best we can. We are grateful for any time we have at home with him and hope it last for many more weeks.

Last night when the grandparents were sitting James, they decided to get the nursing staff exited. Grandpa didn't realize he hit the Code Blue button instead of the nurse call button. When the first nurse burst into the room, Grandma calmly asked for some more formula. Nice to know they are Johny on the spot!

We appreciate all the words of encouragement and it's does help to know you are all standing with us, especially in prayer. Just as with Tony in SF, our brothers and sisters in Christ here are providing for our needs.

Please pray for continued progress with feedings, that his insides would heal and stay healthy and for our patience with calmness with adapting to our situation.

Tired and worried but not quite weary yet,

Stu, Tashia, Cranky, and Lil' Dude

PS - we have to keep the TV off because it drives our Dude crazy when that guy on the commercial keeps saying his name

One more day for the Little Dude

2008-04-29T07:26:00.000-07:00

We are going to stay in the hospital for at least one more day. The mouthwash was too numbing, but the tylenol seemed to help. We also have faster flowing silicone nipples now and his feedings were better since midnight. He did lose 1 ounce, which isn't surprising. Hopefully he can start eating stronger to avoid the IV. It it goes well, we will come home tomorrow.

Hardly any new blisters so either his skin is stronger or keeping him cool is working. All his wounds seem to be healing well.

His umbilical cord was really starting to smell bad and the doc was nice enough to snip that off this morning.

Dad didn't well at helping mom out and slept a bit too long. Our goal is to get mom a few naps and for Dad to get to bed earlier. Evenings are always the worst as we are very tired with little patience.

Abby wants less and less to do with us and it will be a slow process bonding with her again when we finally get the time. This is very hard for us to choose between our children.

All we can do is set our sights on the only constant thing in our lives and that is God. It's not our amazing faith, but that we have faith in an amazing God.

Weary,

Stu, Tashia, Abby and James

Back to Horn Memorial

2008-04-28T10:35:00.000-07:00

Well it was great being home while it lasted. At James' 5am feeding, he had trouble breathing due to some mucous that must be from his sores inside. His lip area was turned blue after a one minute of eternity, we turned him over and it helped him overcome it.

Needless to say, we weren't prepared for this yet and concerned about dealing with emergencies like this at home. James is stable now and after a visit with our Doc, he is back in the hospital. They checked is vitals and everything is fine. He was prescribed a pain relieving mouthwash and tylenol to help him feed without pain. We will take it step by step and are not starting an IV at this point.

Again, we are reminded of the rollercoaster as there are some great positives since being admitted. First, his new weight is 6lbs 14oz, which is quite outstanding that he has overcome the typical newborn weightloss already given his low feedings. It took much over a week for Tony to get to this point.

Also, his wounds seem to be healing. His elbow is turning pink meaning new skin! He is still getting blisters, but we hope that the colder hospital room will put a halt to this. It's still hard to get too exited knowing it's what's healing on the inside that matters and that more lows are coming.

It's also hard not to question why there are others that are abundantly given children that either do not want them or do not care for them. Someone questioned why innocent parents like us... We wish we were innocent, but like everyone we sin and only by our faith in our Savior are we make adopted children of God. And we know for a fact adoption is great!

We wanted to give you the latest and will try to keep you posted. Hopefully you get a glimpse of how James is doing now. Progressing faster than expected, but stable at the moment.

Making the most of our rollercoaster ride,

Stu, Tashi, Abby and Little Dude (this one seems to be sticking the best)

PS - Dad caught a bit of grief for the b-day picture, but it could have been worse...

Happy Birthday Mom!!

2008-04-27T17:42:00.000-07:00

We all just had cake and ice cream for Tashia's 31st birthday, which was today (no we didn't let James have any)

Last night and today were much better for James. His feedings are now consistent and staying down. We switched to pre-mixed formula and now Mom's fresh stuff is keeping up. We are still adding formula to it to add nutrients and calories. Tony didn't get moved up to this level until 1 month old.

We went through Tony's caring bridge site to refresh our memory on symptoms and treatments. To be honest, it was surprising to see everything we went through in hindsight and how positive we stayed through the ordeal. With James, it's much different as we know the likely outcome already. We will continue to be positive and care for him best we can, but the mourning process has already started as nothing short of miraculous healing will see this little guy to his 1st birthday. We are already thinking about funerals and burials when our son is 4 days old. We do have the same eternal hope that carries us through any of our trials. Especially the peace knowing that these bodies are only earthy vessels and that James would join Tony in a place with no pain or discomfort.

A few other things we noticed were that Tony's worst blister days were when he came home with us. This is leading us to believe that the increased handling or the heat build up with the blankets we use is causing more blisters. Since yesterday it's not uncommon to see 5 or more new blisters in a few hour period. Most are small, but his diaper area is showing the affects. Hopefully between changes in how we hold him and keep him bundled will slow those down. Also, Grandma Beth made a few custom diapers with special soft cloth which should he the blisters and the messes.

Also, we were reminded how much time was spent in the hospital and how long it would take to get out. It is alreay a great blessing to be at home already and it's possible that we would not go back until the end.

Overall James is very similar to Tony. He has blisters in his mouth that does affect feeding to some degree. Also there is evidence that he may already have blisters down his airways. Tony had scarring of his eppiglotis (the flap that changes breathing to feeding). It's likely that this lead to Tony's aspiration (food in lungs). Which likely eventually lead to further damage.

James still is doing quite well, but there is not much we can do for preventing internal trauma. It's a delicate balance between pushing his nourishment and preventing aspiration.

It's our intent to finally get all our pictures on the web for all to view. Just keep in mind if it seems we are getting larger, it's because of all the great meals everyone is bringing us, especially all the goodies. We are truly blessed with all the support and prayers we are receiving.

One thing we haven't mentioned is how Abby fits into all of this. It is very hard on her and us as we are focusing most of our attention on James and relying on others to spend time with her. She doesn't know what to think of all of this and it seems like she is growing up so fast right now. It is encouraging to know that if James does leave us that our house won't be so lonely this time. Abby won't let us stay inactive.

We do welcome phone calls and visitors. Who would want to show off a good looking dude like James? Please call before visiting to check if it's a good time and try again later if we don't answer. Incoming minutes are free, so with amount we are on the phone, we would rather take a call and make one.

From the book of Job we find comfort that God is in control of all that affects us. That Satan can only afflict us to the point that God allows. And He has promised to not give us anything more than we can handle. As we know from experience, with His strength, that is a lot!

Thank you for your all your prayers and following our journey. Please pray that we will cherish this time with James and continue to rely on God's grace to see us through. Also, please pray for a friend and her family as her mother has passed away.

Those that followed Tony's journey may remember a friend that we met in Texas who also lost her son shortly after us. Their situation was similar that involved an unrelated terminal genetic disease. They also had another pregnancy that resulted in another son with the same condition. He is now 7 months old and near his end. Please pray for their strength and faith through their trial.

in His peace,

Stu, Birthday Mom, Abby and the Handsome Guy (James of course!)

Day 2 at home

2008-04-26T17:46:00.000-07:00

A quick update and sorry no pictures yet.

Even with all of our help, sleep and rest has been a luxury. We have had some setbacks with eating and the blister prevention. James has had touble keeping his formula down. While this is common for infants, it's a very serious deal for his increased nutrional needs. We've had some progress this afternoon and hope to get him back on track.

It's hard to remember exactly at what point Tony went through the worst phase of the blisters showing up. For James, we already are dealing with it. Every few hours we are finding a few more that need to be drained. Most are small, but each one uses fluids, nurishment and must go through a healing process. We continue to try different ways for prevention and care and hope his skin toughens up soon.

At this point we are struggling with how we are going to manage this long term at home, especially with a toddler. Going to hospital care isn't an easy answer either as it seperates family members and adds another dimension to preventing skin damage and caring for him.

It's hard for us to believe it's only been a few days and we are hoping and praying that we can make some headway in his care. Also to have the wisdom to decide if and when to take him back into hospital care and to what extent we will go. Given what we know, his comfort is our main concern.

We as always covet your prayers during this trying time.

Stu, Tashia, Abby and James

He's Home

2008-04-25T13:43:00.000-07:00

Ok, so the last post wasn't very short so no promises here. Mom's a bit run down today so it's good to get everyone home so we can make her sleep. By the way, we were in Ida Grove, not SF hospital. The grandparents came down Wed night and have been helping out.

We are happy and nervous to be home. It's the first child out of three that has skipped the NICU. We know it's the best place for him as the less new people to train for care the better, but it's nice to have the backup at the hospital. Our doctor and hospital staff been great here.

James is a strong eater, but his stomach needs to stretch a bit yet so he can eat more, but he's eating every 3hrs. Even with delicate care he has a few new small blisters. I believe Tony's skin got a bit more resilient as he got older, so hopefully the same will be true for James.

For those not familiar with EB I give a quick run down. Both parents have a recessive gene that prevents him from forming the protein that conecects the top two layers of skin. Without that protein, the two layers can easily seperate casusing blisters with minimal friction or pressure. Also, these blisters can form in the mouth and airways. There are many forms of EB, and unfortunately this is one of the worst ones as far as life expectancy.

Now, the best way to explain how James is doing is to compare him to Anthony. In that regard there is only one area where James is doing worse and that is the missing skin he was born with. He had a tear at his cord like Tony, but also had skin missing off one entire elbow and also the bottom side of the other wrist. There was a small spot on his leg bottom as well.

James' finger nails were much better than Tony's. They will fall off eventually, but they are smaller in size and he was only missing the ones from his thumbs. We are padding his elbows and his legs so we can lift them for diaper changes. His diapers consist of soft cotton for use under casts. One of Tony's worst areas were around the diaper because you couldn't bandage them and they were always getting disturbed.

So far James is feeding much better than Tony and is maybe a bit behind a normal 2-day old. We started the higher calorie formula and will start the Zinc and Multi-Vitamin shortly.

We are staying positive and doing everything we can to give him the best start possible. However, we know that we either will not have him for very long or that he will be a very fragile boy that will have a very tough and limited life ahead of him.

We continue to cling to our Rock and trust in his plan. If God decides to heal him, he will be healed. If not we will do our best with His strength. Please pray for our endurance in all ways, that we will accept help and support and especially for our little guy.

Pictures will be posted shortly, but until then the link below will take you to the hospital photo.

Home at last,
Stu, Tashia, Abby and Jimbo

http://www.hornmemorialhospital.org/baby_bio.php?id=69142

James is Here!!

2008-04-24T05:55:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately he does have EB. He and mom are doing just fine right now. This will be a short quick update, but there will be much more to come.

We knew going in that we had this chance and were prepared as we could be. However, what made it more devastating initially was the fact that he had a few large skin tears and since they didn't clean him (our request) it made it appear much worse than it was. Also he had trouble getting enough oxygen at firt. We were forced to make a quick decision to keep him here vs. sending him to a neonatal care facility.

Thankfully, with the extra 2 1/2 weeks, his lungs are good and he caught up after a few hours. Also, after we cleaned up the birth mess we realized that other than the few tears he is doing just fine.

While we are expecting the same as with Anthony, we are hoping and praying for better results. Our pioneering Tony has given us volumes of knowledge to care for James and hopefully prevent much of what he went through.

Mom and dad had their 3hrs of rest and had to feed him this morning :) Our goal is to bring him home tomorrow and have as much normalcy that is possible with a new born.

Thanks for all your prayers. Please prayer for wisdom for us and those that are caring for James. That his wounds would heal and for his feeding.

We are praising God for our gift and know that he will guide us through wherever this takes us. While mourning for what He has and the future that is in store for us.

Oh, and he was born about 11 pm last night, 6 lbs 5.5 oz (give or take some aquaphor) and about 20".

Love,

Stu, Tashia, Abby and Slick

(since mom won't let dad call him Jim or Jimmy, he had to think hard to get his first nickname)

The Waiting Game (for James)

2008-04-14T14:08:00.000-07:00

Well, Tashia had pre-term labor at 35 weeks and was admitted into the hospital in Ida Grove 8 days ago (Sunday night). They almost were able to stop the labor, but since their resources are limited for pre-term babies, Tashia took a bumpy ride in the ambulence to SF on Wednesday with Stu and Tashia's mom following.

They decided to let the pregnancy progress once in SF, but after a few more days in the hospital it was clear he wasn't coming yet. So, we have been hanging out in Brandon since Friday afternoon.

Tashia is free to do whatever she pleases and actually has been trying to get the little guy to hurry his arrival. We have an appt. tomorrow (Tuesday) and hopefully we are close. Unless all the signs are there, Stu will have to drive back to Ida Grove to work until he comes.

We are happy that we have made it past 36 weeks yesterday, but we are quite anxious because we were all exited that we would get to see him already.

So far everyone is healthy and the hospital staff(s) are prepped for a possibility of him having EB. He is right around 6lbs right from a few ultrasounds in the last week.

Unless James has pre-term issues such as breathing, we plan on taking him home after the typical 2 days even with EB. To not have to spend any time in the NICU would be a treat!!

Please pray for our patience and health of both Tashia and James.

Stu, Tashia and Abby

One Left Standing

2008-03-16T06:47:00.000-07:00

Well, we were able to dodge all the nasty bugs around here, but they finally got us. Abby started throwing up Wed night through mid Thursday, but still has the runny diapers. You couldn't have guessed that she was sick as she was her usual self and didn't even cry when vomiting.

Tashia got it Friday night and got over the worst of it Saturday afternoon. It was much harder on her being pregnant, especially throwing up. Her temp never got too high and has been re-hydrating herself.

Fortunately Stuart has yet to come down with it and has been able to keep up with the everyday stuff and take care of his girls. On the upside, it's provided some training for when the baby comes.

James is still doing fine. He is getting a bit cramped and you can feel/see his elbow, knee or some other extremity move across moms belly. Tashia's biggest struggle right now is with her back and getting comfortable in bed. "Only" 8 weeks to go until May 11th. Tashia went on bed rest with 6 weeks to go (34 weeks) with Tony and delivered with 4 to go. We've lobbied for another ultrasound to take some measurements since Tashia never felt the early labor with Tony. Hopefully we will get this in a few weeks.

Abby's friend Jack brought his parents down last weekend followed by Grandpa and Grandma Uken. It was nice to have company and Abby sure enjoyed the attention. They hadn't even been here an hour and Abby was giving Jack kisses. As you can see in the photo, she couldn't quite reach him during the wagon ride.

The Trio will be heading back up to Sioux Falls for Easter this weekend before we hole up at home until James arrives. We will leave you with a picture from Anthony's birthday. We've been running through his pictures getting very exited for our next baby boy.

We as always, appreciate your prayers for James' and Tashia's health and that we can have a timely delivery without any major complications.

Love the Ukens,

Tired, Pukey and Poopy

Happy 1st Birthday Abigail!!!

2008-03-02T18:21:00.000-08:00

Time goes so fast now, it's almost been a month since Abby's birthday and just over two months until James is due. Tashia has been taking special shots to try and keep our little kick boxer in as long as possible. So far so good for mom during the 3rd trimester. It's getting harder to keep up with Abby, but everyone is currently healthy.

Hopefully we will get an on line picture site that we upload a lot more photos than what we can put on the blog. Maybe we would update that more often??? In the meantime you will have to settle for a picture from Abby's birthday and one from today. It was finally warm enough for her to wear her first dress. She still absolutely loves to socialize and is always smiley. It's usually hard to drag her way from the church nursery.

Stuart's job is going well. It's been 6 months already, did we say that time goes fast yet? Well maybe not with this winter. It's really hard to be homesick when it looks and feels like Grand Forks everyday. That's not totally true. One day when we checked it was only -9 here and -30 in GF.

Well there isn't much more new to talk about.

What? More about Abby? Well, ok. She's not too tall yet, but can manage to stand on her toes to get at stuff on the counter and tables. Her conversations are really quite intense, however we can't understand them yet. She did finally learn Mommy.

One thing she is quite proud of is being able to walk backwards slowly. She's really trucking around now and is starting to run into things, quite like her dad. Abby gets exited to watch through the storm door at dad bilge pumping the low sidewalk with a broken snow shovel.

It's spring now right?

Till next time,
Stu, Tashia and Abby

Meet James Glen

2008-01-23T18:20:00.000-08:00

Well after two months, we have broken the blog silence. It was not our intention, but as new parents we find it easy to get distracted. We did have a computer virus infection, which caused us to reformat, but we did save most of our important files. We are thankful that Grandma Beth backed up Tony's pictures last year, since those were some that we did lose.

On with the update. So far so good with the pregnancy. We had the 20 week ultrasound in time for Christmas and we were able to show pictures of James Glen Uken. James enjoys dumplings with butter, pickles and testing the strength of Tashia's tummy. He has been much more active than Anthony.

As you can see, Abby is a go getter and began walking at the first of the year . Her hobbies include opening and closing doors, reading her books and giving out hugs and kisses. When out in public we always hear comments on what a happy baby she is and how she is walking and still tiny. She does well in the nursery at church and we enjoy the break. She is just about 20lbs and will be 1 year old on Feb 7th.

We are fairly settled as this point and are realizing the climate isn't much different that SD. Although we will still take tonights low of -9 over SF's at -14. Normally Tashia can't stand the cold, but with her pregnancy Stuart is having the worst time with it after losing some of his insulation.

Work is going well for Stuart, the 5 months have went by fast. Tashia is adjusting well to her new career. Grandma Beth thought she is ready for the next step and gave Tashia her first sewing lessons when they were down this weekend.

Thanks for all of you checking this site. I have a tracker and realized there are quite a few waiting for our next post. We do enjoy visitors, so if you are ever in the area or need a destination please feel welcome.

Please continue to pray for James to go full term and to be healthy along with Tashia.

Trying to stay warm,

Stu, Tashia, Abby and James

We Be Iwegians Now

2007-11-19T18:45:00.000-08:00

It's official. New id's, new plates and and lighter checkbook. We thought with the income tax, other taxes would be lower here. It's also easier to keep the TV off with all the presidential ads. And you thought the congress races in SD were bad...

We made the trip back to SF again, this time for Abby's baptism. Unfortunately we forgot our camera so you will have to wait for pictures. She's still growing and now is saying the "B" sounds. Sometimes she looks like a old guy with his teeth out. She also says "blah blah blah".

Were exited to have Stuart's parents, brother and aunt come down for Thanksgiving. It will be nice to have the time off without the drive with one catch. We are driving up and back Wednesday as we are one of a few people giving a testimony at the Thanksgiving eve service Abiding savior. It's at 6:30 and you are all welcome.

It's amazing. It's seems like we have been married for much longer than 2 1/2 years as we have so much to be thankful for. We are also looking forward to the day that Abby confesses her faith in Christ Jesus.

Prasing God for everything,

Stu, Tashia, Abby and the bun in the oven

Miracle Grow

2007-11-12T18:25:00.000-08:00

Time flies and it seems like we have been busy since our last post. We've made it back to SF a few times and Stuart was in Detroit for a week training for work.

As you can see Abby is growing and enjoys standing when possible. She just started telling us stories in baby language. She weighs 17lbs and is sleeping through about half the nights right now. She is on the verge of teething and we are begining to feed her small bit of bread and such.

The pregnancy has been going well and Tashia has passed the sickness stage and is getting energy back. It's been a big adjustment for her staying at home with a toddler, while pregnant in a new town.

Reina has had the toughest time adapting to the new home as her range on her tie-out has shortened substantially. Not to mention the lack of attention due to Abby.

till next time,

Stu, Tashia and Abby

PS: Abby has learned to type and wants to say Hi:

xccccjkponhjj k t., 8kjjx

PSS: As you can, see we can't figure out how to space between paragraphs.

It's Official!!!!

2007-10-12T09:56:00.000-07:00

When we were told to bring our camera to the hearing this moring we didn't want to get our hopes up. However it is all done and Abby is officially a Uken! We were blessed that we didn't have to wait any additional time with her in our possesion or have to update our home study. Not to mention that it's finalized in '07 for our tax credit.

While we won't treat Abby any different than we already have been, this is a bigger relief and closure than we both realized. The adoption process is quite overwhelming and even through we have been through a rough one, we can say it is well worth it when it does come through.

It was actually a very hard decision to take back Abby and open us up to more possible pain and expenses. We had important Godly counsel, but also were moved by a scene in the movie "Facing the Giants". In that scene a parable was told about two farmers that were praying for rain. One was only waiting while the other was preparing his field for rain. This encouraged us to proceed and prepare in case it was God's plan for us to have Abby.

Our 2 month ultrasound went well and we got to see the heartbeat.

We are continually overwhelmed with how faithful God is and how he is blessing us. Please help us praise Him!

More updates and pictures to follow as we are getting settled in our new home.

Amazed by His grace,

Stu, Tashia and Abigail

MOVING

2007-09-13T16:08:00.000-07:00

Monday the moving truck will be loaded in SF and will arrive in IG Tuesday. We will be saying farewell to Super 8 Friday morning and stay in SF until Tuesday. Needless to say we are exited to get established in our long term home and should have pictures of the house soon. In the meantime, I hope you don't mind another of Abby!

We will have closed on two houses in 3 weeks total as everything continues to fall into place. Last weekend we stayed in IG for the first time and Grandpa and Grandma Uken visited us on Saturday, but their main focus was Abby of course. Also, we were able to attend a local church service and were warmly welcomed. Tashia was invited and attended a new women's bible study already Monday and we had dinner with the Pastor and family on Tuesday. They have 5 kids with 3 triplet girls, and we thought two would be a lot of work!

Tashia had blood work done last week and we are exited that the HCG level are showing a healthy pregnancy at this point. Our two miscarraiges happened early so we are exited for our 2 month ultrasound on the 28th.

Abby will be attending the first home SDSU football game this weekend. They will be playing Northern Iowa who beat Iowa St. last weekend. Don't worry about where our loyalty lies!

Relying on His timing and Plan,

Stu, Tashia, Abigail and ?????? (we have a boy name, but haven't decided on a girl yet)

PS: Please see our new cell # and address to the right.

Super 8: Week 3

2007-09-05T17:33:00.000-07:00

More big news.

First, we have a house!! Closing should be in about 3 weeks and we hope to move in a week before. It's a two story from 1916 loaded with oak woodwork and floors. It's in decent shape, has a new 2 1/2 garage (1978) and three bedrooms.

Turns out we will need all the 1,800+ sq. ft as we found out this weekend we are pregnant. This wasn't unexpected but we missed all the cues this time as we had plenty to distract us. We decided many months ago to try again and trust God with the outcome. We were pregnant in April, but lost the baby before the second month and gave the name Alex. This was again tough, but we had it on our heart to continue to try naturally for a family.

Who knew that we would have five children in less than 3 years! (Jamie, Tony, Abby, Alex and ?????).

Work is going well for Stuart and Abby is keeping Tashia busy during the day. Thanks for visting this site for our latest updates.

Stu, Tashia and Abby.

Many Changes, Many Blessings

2007-08-28T17:33:00.000-07:00

I'm sure it's obvious to everyone that we only update our websites when it concerns our children. We have a lot of news, but lets start with Abby. Her mother has had a change of heart and we picked her up again on Saturday to continue the adoption process.

This time the termination papers are signed, so this begins the legal process that will give us protection that we didn't have before. We still have to continue the 6 month period and will also have to get an updated home study now that we are living in Iowa.

Yes, for those that we haven't contacted recently, Stuart has accepted a position at Midwest Industries in Ida Grove, IA. Ida Grove is an hour east of Sioux City and has about 2,500 residents. Midwest Industries produces ShoreLand'r boat trailers and ShoreStation dock and boat lift products.

We are in the process of finding a home and we hope to close in a few weeks. Right now the three of us are residing at the local Super 8. Our house has already been sold as right before listing, a nearby neighbor was insterested and offerred cash and we closed in 1 week! And he meant cash, because he showed up with a portion of the sale in a bread bag, 60,000 cash!!! He was sent back to the bank to get a check....

It has been hard leaving our family, friends and church support, but we have been called to this new home and are exited for our future.

Please keep in touch and we will update our contact info as it changes. Right now, you can continue to use our cell numbers, but use this hotmail account (stu_uken@hotmail.com) while we transfer our internet service.

Stu, Tashia and Abby

"Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again" Psalm 71:20

We Will Always Love You Miss Abby

2007-03-22T12:59:00.000-07:00

Last evening we all said goodbye to a wonderful baby girl that has given us so much joy. It's hard to have a quiet house again with no reason to get up in the middle of the night. We think we are going to be well prepared for empty nest syndrome and can understand a bit of what they must go through.

With no other children, we are relieved of a very heavy responsibility yet again. This time, we already know not to feel guilty for looking ahead or thinking about ourselves at this time. It is our nature to feel like we have to feel really bad and focus only on that, but that is not true.

Never the less we are still going through a grieving process that will sap our energy for some time. We hope with our experience that we can progress faster, but we just don't know.

It is very hard to give up a child you have called your own knowing that she will likely not be cared for as well. If we had any chance or hope to keep her safe we would do that, but there is nothing we could have done but delay the result by a day or two.

We miss you Abby and pray that you are taken care of.

Please pray for the mother and Abby.

Stu and Tashia

Tomorrow

2007-03-20T20:32:00.000-07:00

We don't know why this is happening, but we do know for some reason unknown that we will be losing another child tomorrow (Wed).

Even though we have been through a similar trial, this one is more difficult as it involves people we know and our child will not be going to a better place this time. While we do know what lies ahead for us, we don't know if it will be easier or quicker to overcome. How do you say goodbye to a second infant in only 6 months? How do you see Grandparents lose their only Grandbaby again?

While we are sure that doubts will enter our mind, we are confident that we will again have a baby to take care of. It will likely not be of both our own genes or even through an adoption, but we just can't believe that God would not want us to take care of those that he calls the most important in his kingdom. Time will tell when we are ready for that.

Until then we must trudge on and if so led, will make a strong charge to change the laws that do not protect those that cannot protect themselves. How can we let a mother in an instant snuff out a human life in her womb, but yet give her weeks even months to change her mind and rip an infant from a better life and a loving family that has no say or no rights?

Don't misunderstand us, we are not in a hateful mood or even extremely angry. But we are confused and in shock and things do need to change. And if we still feel driven to do so in the near future we will do just that.

In the meantime we are placing our trust in Christ and will let you know when everything is final. And we will, as before, need your prayers and help to get through this time. Keep Abby, mother and our family in your prayers as well.

Stu, Tashia and for now Abby

No Change for now

2007-03-19T17:39:00.000-07:00

Thanks to those that have been visiting our site. If there is a way to add a vistor tracker, we haven't found it yet, but assume many are getting the latest here.

We still have Abby, but nothing is final yet. We are keeping her while the mother takes more time to make her final decision. She still may decide to take Abby back, but we are hopeful that her mind may change. This last 5 days have been very tough as we had a time set up on Saturday to give her up and only Saturday morning did we take this new course.

Please pray for strength for both of us and pray for the mother as well, that she would make a confident decision.

Abby is still feeding about every 3hrs, eating just shy of 4 oz. every time. We think she is around 7 to 7 1/2lbs now. She is holding her head up more, is more awake and made her first vocal sound.

Thanks for your prayers,

Stu, Tashia and Abby

2007-03-15T05:58:00.000-07:00

So far we have had Abby five weeks now. She has been home from the hospital for 3 weeks. She is healthy and doing great. We think she is about 7lbs.

This week we have been dealt a heavy blow, the mother is likely going to take Abby back, maybe in just a few days. This is so hard even without what we have gone through. We hope to keep you updated and give you more details when possible.

Right now we request your prayers and support during this time. Pray for the mother as she is going through a difficult time as well. She needs a heart change, but more than just her decision, she needs to find God. Also pray for all the friends and family involved, for comfort, strength and patience. Last, pray that Abby would be safe.

Sorry for the sad news, but this is the easiest way to tell many people.

Stu, Tashia and Abby

PS - this whole blog experience is a bit overwhelming so be patient while we learn how to spruce it up, add pictures etc.

Welcome

2007-03-04T12:09:00.000-08:00

Do to the recent sucess of the Caring Bridge site for Anthony, we have decided to create a blog so we can easily share pictures and news, mostly of Abigail.

We hope to update this regularly as possible so continue to visit when you have time and feel to share with anyone that you wish or we have missed.

Be patient as we are new to the "blog" and hopefully it will be as user friendly as Caring Bride is.